Four Signs If You Are Needy Person

It’s human nature that we all want and need attention. It helps us as humans to feel secure and become productive, it gives us a firm belief in our own power and to feel confident. There are some that due to upbringing or no upbringing require more attention than others.

I’m not talking about good acknowledgement from our love ones and job appreciation. This obsession with requiring approval (needy) and attention is destructive if not corrected. You are always wanting to make sure or want to know if someone likes you or if they like what you did for them. This cycle can make you physically and mentally miserable.

Obsession, is the domination or control of one's thoughts or feelings by a constant idea, image and desires. Preoccupied with a fixed idea maybe an unwanted feeling or emotion. For example a feeling of the thought “does she really like?”, or “did I do that right for her?”. This constant preoccupation will have you in a mental “slave” situation. You will feel used over and over in a cycle.

There are people with the obsession of food, drugs, sex, alcohol, clothes, shoes, and pleasing people. Those persons with the feeling of insecurity about themselves have a need as those with the need or urge to take the drugs, or alcohol, to satisfy those desires. These people with a need of wanting comfort, the feeling of being wanted by someone and wanting to hear that they are good people and that they are acceptable, good looking, that’s what gives them that assurance or “high”.

Some of the signs:

When you feel afraid, alone or need someone, who do you turn to, what is on your mind?

What is on your mind when you do not sleep at night?

Are you preoccupied with the thought of what people may think of you.

Do you play many roles, in order to please?

The person first must recognize their feelings and why at times or most of the times they are feeling miserable, that deep feeling of always wanting to please someone, or turning yourself down for the sake of others. Again, there is nothing wrong with helping others out, but when this becomes all of it and no time for yourself, this will drain you physically and most mentally. It becomes harder and harder to enjoy yourself and you become enclosed within yourself. This also affects work as well as personal relationships. I suggest speak with a trusted friend, pastor or a good solid organization were you can speak honestly about your feelings. You need to surround yourself with good strong relationships in church or community, where you are not pleasing them but in the focus of God. You need a prayer group, meditation to ask God for guidance, give yourself to Him and trust Him that he will put you in places where you will have people close to you and love and care for you with out performing an act or role. In a strong group such as a church or trusted friends you will learn who you really are, how to really see yourself and your worth. God created us in His image, beautiful. To feel secured and appreciated. We are to have constant communion with Him. When we stray away or don’t have Him then the empty feelings arise, and the wanting of appreciation by mankind will follow.

Take daily small steps to recognize yourself take notes of each time you do things or are asked; check things out and you will see where you have been and where you are headed.

A few passages:

Not sure what your value is: Genesis 1, Romans 4,5

When you are lonely: Luke 6

Hurting: Hebrews 12

Courage: Joshua 1, Ephesians 6, Hebrews 13